I'll never Let You Go
by Lawliet Veneziano
Summary: Memories are painful things and worse yet when you've the memories of multiple lives, of a war that took everything and left very little. The Master suffers but at least he has an angel of death to sing him to calm... (MasterxOC, songfic to "Safe and Sound", listen to the Sam Tsui cover for this)


They were insane. Technically really he was the crazy one, the madman without a blue box, the blonde psychopath who killed and ate people with a grin on his face, dancing to his own rhythms, the drums in his head, laughing at things only he found truly funny; she was his calm and collected angel of death, his sweet companion, who smiled as he did it all, not because smiling was the right thing to do to stay on his good side, but because she truly wished to smile. He affected her though, he made her the way he was sometimes, he coaxed madness out of the corners of her mind and she'd dance with him, laugh with him, smile and watch him kill or kill for him. She was his to do with as he wished, and usually he wished to have her be the same as usual; she was alright perfectly violent on her own, dangerous, deadly, calm and collected as she struck down people, yet that slight smile that hinted at more to her thoughts when her sword dug into a human, or non-human, body thrilled him more than even that. The way she played along with his jokes, the way she didn't stand in his way but refused to obey every little order, the way the strange red-eyed swordsgirl stole his hearts yet never demanded him to tell her such; it pleased him.

The fact she was willing to sit with him on his bad nights though, hold him in her arms, and sing so gently, even if he would never admit it aloud, that warmed his hearts more than anything though and that was one of those things that made him love her.

_"I remember tears streaming down your face  
When I said, "I'll never let you go"  
When all those shadows almost killed your light…"_

His nights generally were better with her around, his days too; he didn't really know what it was and he had yet to tell her about this so he couldn't ask her what she thought the reason for it was. Either way she had an effect on him, similar and opposite to the one he had on her; she made him less crazy, she calmed him, she made the drums dull down a bit and the madness pull back some. To tell her she had this power over him, any power, was unthinkable and so he kept it to himself yet still it happened sometimes; sometimes the drums were just too insistent, sometimes the madness was just too great, and sometimes she was on the other side of his mansion dealing with something and the feeling of being left to himself made it all too easy to slip into the darkness.

He'd scream, he'd thrash, he'd cry, he'd claw at his head skin as he tried to fight the darkness, the memories, the things that inhabited his mind and drove him so close to the edge. Soon enough he'd heard her footsteps, feel her arms around him, trying to calm him down, soothe his pain and fears, promising to be there, that she was there, that she wouldn't leave his side. And the mad Time Lord would cling to her, drain as much comfort as he could get, try to ground himself by the sound of her voice, the feel of her touch, and it would work slowly, surely, until the next time.

_"I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"  
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight…"_

He still remembered the first night; a moment of weakness gave way to a fit that was not uncommon. Self-harm, his fist had gone into a wall before his nails started digging into his own skin, pulling, ripping, drawing blood, but the drumming didn't stop. The pain didn't end. It never did, and he knew this never helped, but he was insane and logic and reason didn't rule him at that moment.

She'd seemed so surprised by it, or maybe just scared. Scared for him, scared he'd really hurt himself, scared of the pain he had to be in order to want to do that to himself; she'd immediately ran to his side, tried to pull his hands away from his scalp but gotten scratched up instead for her trouble; _No,_ his mind told him. He couldn't hurt her, he shouldn't but he had and he couldn't stop himself. Yet she didn't seem to mind; her eyes set on him then grabbed him, pulling him close to her, holding him close, stroking his hair and telling him it would be okay before singing; it was a strange song, different than the energetic, happy, peppy melodies he usually heard, that he liked to have her sing. It was a sweet song and almost like a lullaby. Promises of being there, of being beside him; he had found himself calming slowly before clinging to her, muttering, "Don't ever leave me…"

_"Just close your eyes  
The sun is going down  
You'll be alright  
No one can hurt you now  
Come morning light  
You and I'll be safe and sound…"_

And so nights went, some at least; most days and nights they spent in less painful ways, together or temporarily apart, putting together his plans to get back at his oldest of rivals. They'd dance and laugh and the madness was at bay and the drums were duller and he would happily act like nothing was wrong with his head, that his escape hadn't screwed him over even more, that his botched resurrection hadn't had mental side effects; there was a Doctor to capture and mess with, there were humans to enslave, there was an angel of death to kiss and scheme with. Far too much to focus on silly little things like how he may or may not have gotten out of the Time Lock with less than his full senses. Like how he had never been this insane before the resurrection that his wife, his dead wife, had interrupted and ruined. Like how the drums were far louder even now when he knew what they really were, why they really were. No, he much preferred to think he was fine when he wasn't neck deep in the things lurking in his mind that threatened to swallow him up. And when tiredness actually reached him, as it reached all, and he needed a rest, he let her sing him to sleep, holding her to him then as she quietly sang and they drifted off together. What peace he could have, a stark comparison to the chaos he was forced with otherwise.

_Don't you dare look out your window, darling,  
Everything's on fire  
The war outside our door keeps raging on_

That night though, it wasn't one of the worst; if he had to rate it, he'd have to say it was the worst.

His laser screwdriver slipped from his hands suddenly and he hunched over in the living room which doubled as a working space, hands over his ears; though it was quiet outside of the sound of the screwdriver dropping, he could hear it. Screaming, people screaming and pleading and crying; they cried out for mercy, for peace, for death, so many voices, and they changed, over and over, over and over. The demands of the people he had left behind, his own people, as they burned, died and burned with their planet, his planet, beautiful Gallifrey. He remembered seeing them dying too, he remembering seeing it all end from his little prison cell, and he remembered seeing it all end from the battlefields as well; oh he had ran away but not before seeing so much death and pain that it bothered even him.

He fell to his knees and started pounding on his head, screaming, "Stop it, stop it, STOP IT! No, no, no, no, no, stop it, stop it, no more. Stop it!"

No use; the war in his head raged on, the memories of that last great Time War plaguing him and overwhelming him. But more than just that; he felt his breath get stuck and a whimper come out inside as he lowered to the ground and curled into a ball, remembering the Time Lords calling him a traitor, remembering being treated so badly. The scars, the memories, the things he saw, the fighting, the death, all it; it wasn't just memories, it felt just so REAL.

_Hold on to this lullaby  
Even when the music's gone  
Gone_

She'd come back to the room without the things he'd asked for; she didn't really know but she knew, she had somehow known he needed help, even without hearing his yelling, his screams for it to stop. She found him on the ground and she ran over to him, helping him up, "Master…"

Hearing her voice through the fog of memory was difficult; it barely pulled through and he barely felt it as he leaned against her, clinging like a scared child to the only comfort he knew: her. Her scent pulled at him, strawberries, jelly babies, jasmine tea. That tea, her favorite, it was her taste; he pulled at that, but it barely helped him remember himself, it did nothing to banish the darkness of the war in his mind. He held tighter to her, pulled her closer to himself and he felt her arms wrap around him in return, as usual, like she always did when he got like this. He was like this a lot which deep down, where he was still himself, still the Master who liked to always be in control, always wanted to be in control, bothered him; he hated being weak, he hated depending on her to calm his own madness, but he would never yell at her about it, get angry at the only one who wasn't at fault right now; the Time Lords, the Daleks, the humans, the Doctor, himself, the universe, everyone else was at fault for what was going on but her, she was simply trying to help.

"Sing," he commanded or tried to; it came out much more like a request and with a light smile she nodded, kissed his forehead and started to sing for him again.

_"Just close your eyes  
The sun is going down  
You'll be alright  
No one can hurt you now  
Come morning light  
You and I'll be safe and sound."_

The singing helped definitely, very much. His memories started to calm, to form something less incoherent. And from there he could easily banish away the ones he preferred not be there, make the memories disappear and focus back on the present; it was still hard, the memories were stubborn about holding onto him and trying to keep him there with them, in the darkness, in the past, in that deep abyss that the Time War really was. An abyss of pain and destruction and loss and other things that when afflicted upon others by his hand he didn't mind but which was much less fun when it was him it was upon. Each word she sang, every second helped with pulling him back together and soon enough his grip loosened, but didn't let go; honestly he liked being so close, though he'd prefer to be doing other things when they were so close. But this wasn't too terrible he guessed as he relaxed in her arms, holding her as well and rested his forehead on her shoulder, closing his eyes to better focus on her voice.

For her part she seemed aware of what was going on, that he was calm now and that she didn't need to sing but rather liked to and as long as he didn't stop her, she figured he wanted her to keep singing too. Smiling lightly now that he was less frantic, she stroked his bleach blonde hair a bit and continued to go; after all sometimes it was just nice sitting with her manic Time Lord and have a moment where they were entangled with each other or their plans, where getting at the Doctor wasn't the most important thing. Sitting and relaxing for a second was good too.

_"Just close your eyes  
You'll be alright  
Come morning light…"_

She had almost finished the song when he suddenly moved again, capturing her lips, stopping the song prematurely; she blinked but returned the kiss, only to have him pull away within that second. She wasn't surprised; the Master liked to do that. He smirked at her and licked his lips, "Tsuki, let's go. I'm hungry."

Tsuki looked at him for a moment then nodded and let go of him, allowing him to get up before standing as well; she dusted herself off, adjusted her sword then looked back at him, "Then we better go get you something to feast on, shouldn't we Master?"

Grinning he nodded and grabbed her hand, dragging her off out of the room, leaving behind the stiffness of that dark moment, of those mad memories, of those bad thoughts. And the last unsung words that hung in the air.

_You and I'll be safe and sound..._

* * *

Vene: Ve!~ Another new story? Two of them? Wonderful!

Nihon: We couldn't resist writing these; neither are probably too good of quality but we tried at least.

Vene*nods* Please enjoy them.


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